Complicated Grief

On May 27, 2011, it will be fifteen years since my sister, Lisa, killed herself.  I feel I am finally getting past it.  Maybe it’s the blog, maybe it’s the time that has passed, maybe it’s because her suicide, at long last, is out in the open.  I don’t know.  What I do know now is that I suffered from Complicated Grief and I wish I would have known this before.  But I guess you never can see when you’re mired in it.

I’ve noticed that I’m not as panicky and unable to breathe as I usually am this time of year.  I give credit to baby Cedar.  The worst day is usually the day before the anniversary, so May 26th, that I am I mess, then on the 27th, I’m fine.  We’ll see what happens as the time draws closer.

Two things that currently bug me:  Lisa isn’t here to see her niece and nephew and I will never have a new picture of her.

Okay so that’s it for now!  Maybe I will finally get around to finishing The Dreaded Post, Part Two for the anniversary post.

Cousin JP, his daughter Albany, and Lisa

I will distract you with my cuteness!

And I will distract you with my charm and cleverness!


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